This is the beginning. The beginning of something that has been cooped up, inside of me for a long, long time. Fear. A four letter word that controls most of your life. Fear stops most people from doing the things they love. Not because there is the fear of death in most cases, it has to do with the fear of judgement, of resentment, of disappointment.
So, I will look fear straight in the eye, and I will do something that I didn’t realize, I love to do! Writing.
Just today, I was driving down one of the back roads I normally take to get away from the everyday world. All of these thoughts started streaming through my brain about how I got to where I am, right now, at this moment in my life. How did I go from being a person with a family, and a restaurant, to being someone who hides away, surrounded by the same four walls of her bedroom, for days on end? I started wondering what I really wanted to do with my life. I thought about all of the things I have been through on this journey, and instead of feeling bad, for once, I accepted it! Truly accepted the fact that my life happened the way it has, and it is a gift despite the challenges.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not just figuring this all out today. I have spent the last 9 years, working on myself, mostly focusing on my mind and thoughts. It has been the hardest transformation, because it never ends. So today, I am one step closer. I am creating a blog to share with you. My writing. My life. Me.
Perhaps, my writing about how I am saving my own life, one day at a time, I will be able to help someone else who maybe struggling with their own. It starts with your mind, and it starts with being able to listen to yourself. If you can’t listen to yourself, how can you be listening to others?